If you constantly find yourself thinking and living in the past – the glory days of your youth, relationships, poor decisions in business or in life you are engaging in thinking that usually only bring one thing: misery for you in the present.
Yes sometimes you think about the good things: victories in sports, accomplishments at work, hot women you hooked up with, etc. But most of the time you probably torture yourself with other memories that aren’t so good: failed relationships, bad business dealings, family drama, the one that got away and other things that make you feel like shit.
Well guess what? NONE of that can ever be changed. EVER. It happened. It is over. Done. It is in a place that no longer exists – the past. Whatever it is cannot be changed no matter how many times you think about it. The sooner you accept this the better off you are.
Acceptance Is The First Step To Stopping
Accepting what has happened in the past, no matter how difficult that may be for you, is the first step in stopping living in the past. Accept that you fucked up. Accept that it is over. Accept that you failed. Accept that they aren’t coming back. Accept whatever the thing is that you keep dwelling on.
Now here is the hard part and the come to Jesus moment that you have to have with yourself: whatever happened to you, it is all your fault. That’s right. Everything that has happened to you in the past is your fault. Everything.
When you accept this, you can start realizing that everything in your life it your responsibility. You are responsible for everything that happens to you. You are responsible for you.
Now I’m not talking about if you were a vulnerable child or born with something that cannot be changed. What I am talking about it is the decisions and choices that you made as a adult that have impacted your life and the present. The things you consciously chose to do or not do that resulted in an outcome that you didn’t like or regret.
Drinking too much. Cheating on your girlfriend. Getting fat and terribly out of shape. Working at a job you hate. Going bankrupt. Losing friendships. Family drama. You are responsible for all of these things. Accept this.
Then a magical thing happens when you accept this: You know that you have the power to change. You have the power to make new, better choices. To change who you are. Not who you were – those things cannot change. They are part of you and made you who you are now. To become the person that you want to be NOW.
So decide who you really want to be. Who you truly are. Then take the actions each day that that person would do. Be more decisive, stand up for what you really believe in. See in your minds eye the person that you are and become that person.